The Descent (5/10)

    "The Descent" is a 2005 British horror film about 6 women who go exploring a cave as a fun "girls trip" experience. Already I hate it, because cave exploration - especially cave DIVING - sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. So right off the bat, as a premise for a horror film, "The Descent" is coming in hot, as they say. Claustrophobia with numerous tight spaces, darkness, helplessness, being trapped miles beneath the earth, being able to fall to your death at any moment over perilous ravines. It's packed full of horrifying concepts so that's obviously "good film" points in its favor. 

   But you may have noticed right in the title that I only gave it a 5 out of a ten. Even with all of that wonderful horror movie premise, it did some things I didn't exactly love as a viewer of films. So here I go with explaining why:

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SPOILER WARNING

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    Okay so there's an even deeper level of plot that I didn't spoil earlier when listing all of the horrifying concepts above and that is: There's a whole swarm of these subterranean humanoids living in the bottom of the caves. I read that the women weren't told about the cave monsters before filming started, so their initial reactions and screams were quite genuine. The cave monsters were well done and the disgusting sounds of them eating one of the girls was absolutely revolting. A+

    I suppose I'm just gonna put a little blip here where like - being lost in a cave would've been grounds enough for a horror film. You could argue that the creatures in the depths of the caves weren't 100% necessary - something suddenly "supernatural" happening in a film that otherwise tries really hard to be realistic and believable could be jarring to some people. But if you can accept the cave people, it does the concept justice. Reminds me of Lovecraft's short story, "The Beast in the Cave." 

    Some of my favorite frightening moments were the more "mundane" aspects of caving. Sarah simply getting stuck in a tight rock tunnel and getting hysterical, for example. The scene where they had to insert the hooks and ropes to get everyone across this huge gap and Rebecca had to just - free hang and hold herself up with her arms the whole way across over an ABYSS, hanging each clasp for the others as she went, her arms getting more and more strained with each passing moment. Then Juno had to do it too because they couldn't spare leaving the clasps behind. I can't imagine having that much upper body strength. 

    The use of the night vision on the camera was also a great touch. The eerie green color is always unsettling and makes everything look so alien, even if it's perfectly normal scenery otherwise.

    The film has pretty good acting overall, especially considering it's basically considered an indie film, not being made by a big well known studio. I've certainly seen my share of indie films where it was clear the actors and special effects artists didn't quite have as much business experience as those from the giants of the industry and the household names. Sarah waking up in the hospital to find her husband and daughter are dead from the car accident in particular was heart-breaking and visceral. Kudos to her. 

    Also good practical effects and sound design - they used music as well as a blatant lack of music very effectively.

    Now that I've gotten some praise as a basis of comparison, let's get into the things I didn't like. The women made some pretty dumb choices as characters. I know they were under heavy stress and people aren't thinking as clearly when they are terrified - I'm trying to give them the grace they deserve as humans - but there were still some moments it was hard for me to suspend my disbelief that people that were supposedly pretty experienced cave divers would make these sorts of mistakes. 

    Juno decided that their FIRST cave dive with all the girlies together again was going to be in an unknown, unmapped cave? All cuz she wanted the satisfaction of finding something new for her ego?? NO ONE questioned her and wanted hard details before they even agreed to the trip?? She even left the map in the car because she was so confident in their abilities, and everyone just - believed in her too. Does that mean this was the first instance of her doing something so out of pocket?? That makes it even worse that she went SO HARD in being so stupid and inconsiderate of her friends. 

    (Someone else brought up the possibility that Juno had chosen to change everyone's plans so drastically in an attempt to give Sarah a big sense of accomplishment to try and lift her out of her depression after they explored a cavern that no one had explored before. She wanted to give Sarah a "win," after all she had been through. Still, it seems incredibly unwise to plan a blind cave dive without alerting ANYONE inside or outside of the group first.)

    However many miles beneath the earth and scared out of her mind, Holly scurried desperately forward because she thought she saw daylight - even though every single one of the women were screaming at her not to do so - and then she fell down a hole and broke her leg because of it. No sunlight, just a shiny rock. Like, girl please. The part with Sarah being the one to crash out when she got stuck in the tunnel was a bit odd to me too, seeing as she was supposed to be one of the most experienced spelunkers. I think it would've made a bit more sense for it to have been one of the newer girls in the group, one who was more like a newbie to the group AND the cave. 

    But all of those transgressions pale in comparison to Beth basically SNEAKING UP BEHIND Juno right after she had JUST fought for her life against a crawler. Beth went FULL "tap you on the shoulder and blatantly, cartoonishly startle you while you have a pickaxe in your hand." I COULD NOT BELIEVE that Beth would've been so dumb. She could've stayed two or three feet back and said "Juno" gently so as not to startle her, probably would have startled her anyway but at least she wouldn't have been in axe range. 

    This stupid moment was supposedly one of the three nails in Juno's coffin but this one was SOOO undeserved. Like, god I'm getting mad after just looking up a clip for that screenshot. But, okay the three nails - Juno accidentally stabs Beth in the throat. Juno clearly didn't mean to do so, it was blatantly an accident. Juno is clearly distraught, it's written all over her face. I will admit, Juno doesn't blatantly say  a series of heart-broken "I'm sorry"'s out loud like I would have done in this scenario. Just over and over again. Juno ALSO does not do the only merciful thing left to do, which is finish Beth off so she doesn't suffer. Those actions -would- have made Juno look better than she does, even though I would never blame her for Beth's death overall. 

    She leaves Beth bleeding out instead of staying with her like Beth asks her to do. Juno leaves in a panic instead. ALSO NOT GREAT, but if I'm supposed to give Sarah and Holly grace for being dumb, this could be Juno's "dumb" pass. No dumb pass for Beth, I just can't. 

    - Juno's first nail: Planning this whole trip in a new cave system where no one would ever come looking for them

    - Juno's second nail: Not staying with Beth / Not finishing Beth off mercifully

    - Juno's THIRD NAIL: is one that I missed the first time I watched the movie and only got it on a rewatch. I must've missed the beginning of the film when I was probably watching it on "Chiller" or "Syfy" channels at night yearsssss ago. The beginning made it SO CLEAR that something was wrong, it's kind of laughable that Sarah didn't notice sooner. (I'm not trying to victim blame but like, just saying the hints the film and characters gave to us were very obvious.)

    So what did Juno do? 

She cheated with Sarah's husband. 

    Which is - Wow. Such a betrayal. Soooo unnecessary. Shit on all of Girl Code and the entire concept of friendship as a whole. Wretched and inexcusable. Like, fucking Sarah's husband right under her nose. I can't even imagine. 

    

    I thought when I first saw this scene that Sarah was only angry that Juno "killed" Beth, like she thought Juno did it on purpose or something. So I thought Sarah axing Juno in the leg and leaving her there was WAY HARSH a punishment for what was definitely an accident. I thought the way Beth told Sarah what Juno did was really dishonest and manipulative. But now that I know Juno was -ALSO- cheating with her husband, that's.... That's pretty bad. That warrants an axe to the leg. 

    Passed that the ending was also dumb. Sarah should have gotten out of the cave. For Christ's sake, after ALL she had been through, you're just gonna let her die in the cave? "She had a dream that she was free, but then she woke up and realized she would never make it out alive." It made the whole journey feel really pointless. I know horror movies go for really hopeless, "realistic" endings all the time and I usually hate it. Just because it's a horror movie doesn't mean it can't have a SHRED of a happy ending for SOMEONE. This was all just really depressing. 

    But yeah, as a film it's not bad, especially as an indie film with a budget of only 3.5 million. Acting, sound design, creature design, and the entire concept of it were fantastic. I suppose I'm being picky but it was mostly plot points and character choices that detracted from its score. 

    I will literally just - randomly think of Beth sneaking up behind Juno every once in a while and get so mad all over again. It was just so stupid. XD

    5/10 at the end of the day for me.

    Anyway, thanks for stopping by.

    More reviews to come.