Death of a Unicorn (6/10)
"Death of a Unicorn," is a 2025 comedy horror film starring Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega. It wasn't exactly a fantastic film but it's not like I wished I hadn't watched it or anything. Most of the critiques were in regard to the humor mixed in with the gore and horror. I didn't think it was "too much funny" compared to the horror, but it did still leave me with a strange sort of disjointed feeling throughout the film.
As far as compliments go, I enjoyed Jenna's performance as a teenage girl. I know she's only 22 so it's not SUPER far off anyway, but it still felt like an actual teenager instead of a grown woman playing a teenager, which I was grateful for. (Sometimes in my childhood there were shows like "Degrassi" and "The OC" and movies like "Grease" and "Bring it On" that had obvious adult actors playing teenagers, and this did not feel like that, which was wonderful.)
I enjoyed the settings and scenery in the mountains and the beautiful rich family's mansion.
I ADORED the design of the titular unicorns. It was nice to see a sort of "return to form" for them after only seeing modern iterations for so long. These unicorns were straight medieval, and it was great.
As far as Trigger Warnings, most of what comes to mind is violence and gore. There's also swearing, drug use, and a loss of Jenna's mother/ Paul's wife. Nothing too extreme.
It's the kind of film you have to go into without high expectations and just let it be what it is. That's what I did and I think it made it more enjoyable than if I had expected some sort of standard from it.
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SPOILER WARNING
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The best part of the film was the Unicorns. Not much of a surprise haha
They really went back to their mythological roots and dug in with the whole "only a pure maiden can soothe the SAVAGE BEAST" angle. They used a marvelous mix of practical effects including animatronics as well as horses with prosthetic horns alongside some CGI movie magic so I really gotta give credit where credit is due in that regard. I -looovveeee- practical effects. It's really so cool to see.
I loved the whole "parents coming to save their offspring" angle because that's always so poetic. Makes the whole "rich people willing to exploit a baby mythical creature to save their own skins" plot hurt all the more. You basically WANT the unicorns to get a hold of these people, since it's basically divine punishment that they undeniably deserve. Them being black-furred and built like war horses was just so cool. The baby having the little tusk teeth was so old-fashioned and classic too.
The rich family and their various interactions/deaths were just kind of goofy but I'm sure they were somewhat orchestrated that way on purpose. I wonder if they thought no one would take a deadly unicorn film seriously but I certainly wouldn't have had a problem with it being absolutely straight-faced and having more of a severe tone. But then, I respect mythical creatures and folklore.
The part that kind of annoyed me the most was when Jenna's character basically had the answer, knew that if they didn't release the baby unicorn, the parents would come and tear everyone apart, and she just - wouldn't come out and say it. She found the tapestries that depicted people being torn apart by unicorns. She HAD her proof and she never like, really put it all out there. I think it was going for a "scared teenager who is afraid to be so blunt and authoritative with these condescending rich people" situation but I just kept wanting to yell "TELL THEM THEY'RE GOING TO DIE."
Like, they already just learned unicorns exist, they don't have any ground to doubt you when it comes to something you've researched ABOUT UNICORNS.
She kept like, awkwardly fumbling around the issue of their safety and how to soothe the unicorns' rage instead of just showing them the fucking "vision board" she was jokingly told to make. The film going on for as long as it did and certain characters making certain bumbling mistakes out of ignorance just ended up feeling kind of forced to me because of how quickly the information Jenna had could have explained everything and offered a SOLUTION.
I also found the ending weird. How the police came and picked them up and wanted to take them in for questioning. Like, yes, it makes sense. That one grounds keeper guy did get away and go for help. But like, them having to explain things to the police just felt dumb instead of absurdly funny. Also the unicorns coming to presumably flip the car and rescue Paul and Jenna was even weirder - like, just don't bother with the police angle. It wasn't needed to begin with. The unicorns crashing the car just added a whole other layer of complication to the whole 'legal situation' with all of the dead rich people in the mansion on the hill. Now there's a police officer probably missing.
It was just like "I know you probably felt like you needed SOME kind of wrap up after all this but like - you just unwrapped it immediately after the wrap, having a huge car crash happen immediately offscreen." It just kind of ended up feeling silly and pointless to me rather than satisfying and conclusive.
So yeah, it's not the greatest movie ever. The pacing is a little slow and the humor is a bit absurd but I would still say it's worth watching if you wanna watch a movie that's just a bit different.
Final score is 6/10.
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More reviews to come.
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